Dear Time Travelers,
As I awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, I found myself transformed in my bed into a monstrous vermin. An eel , more specifically. I wriggled my slimy head across the pillow while thrashing my body through the sloppy loose folds of white cotton sheets until I could see my alarm clock. It was nearly quarter to 7. The alarm had been set for 4 AM. Evidently my alarm had failed to go off or I had slept through it, which seemed scarcely possible, cacophonously loud as I knew it to be. "Shit," I thought to myself. "I'm going to be so late for work." In truth I had already known I was late. I had woken up with a start, a creeping sensation of dread, and two unmistakable realizations - A) I no longer have eyelids, & B) I am late for something. Unfortunately, I am not in the habit of locking my bedroom door at night, and I could hear light footsteps coming up the stairs towards my room. The steps arrived on the landing and proceeded directly towards my door. There ...
